hi last week we have been writing about stories i choosed if everything was frozen in time and we supposed to do this on a doc but when i try to post it it looks so weird and i put the story on a google drawing this is my story i did of if everything was frozen in time enhoy this!!!
Thursday, October 31, 2019
if everything was frozen in time
hi last week we have been writing about stories i choosed if everything was frozen in time and we supposed to do this on a doc but when i try to post it it looks so weird and i put the story on a google drawing this is my story i did of if everything was frozen in time enhoy this!!!
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Hello Xalia, I am Olivia From Yaldhurst School. First Off I love your story, I love how you have added in a lot of adjectives in your story I love it. You have written a lot for a year 5/6 it is great and interesting. How come some of your I,s weren't capital in there and it would help if you could split the writing into paragraphs so it is easy to read.
ReplyDeleteWhat is your favourite part about your story?.
Great Work!.
Bye for Now.
Hi Xalia
ReplyDeleteI am Kade a yr6 from Yaldhurst. (YMS for short)
I like how you have writing a story about being frozen in time. How would you get to the youtubers because if they live far away? Could you please make the words bigger and change the colour? If you put it into paragraphs it would be better to read. Still great job
Kind Regards
Kade
Hi Xalia this is Michaela from Yaldhurst Model school
ReplyDeleteIn our class we do things like this and the word count for the new people like me are 240 and the rest are is 300. How else did the frozen in time because you did it on docs how much words did you get. Could you do it on a slide or could you just do it on a docs.
maybe you can put the writing at the top not the bottom. you need to put CAPTEL I's I can see none.
kind regards
Michaela
Kia ora, I am Mykiala from yaldhurst model school.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story thing.
Did you think about tell us more in the story.
Why did you share this with blogger.
Also you should do capital letters and capital I's.
Awesome work!!!!
MYKIALA YMS!!
Hi Xalia! I am Sam from Yaldhurst Model School,
ReplyDeleteThat is one amazing story!
I really like how you decided to change the colour of the writing to blue so that it stood out in the black background. Anyway, If time had frozen, I would probably... Hmmm... I'm not sure what I would do.
Anyway, it would be nice if you could add some full stops or something into the story, because I didn't see any of those there. Apart from that, great story!
Happy Blogging!
Sam
Kia ora i'm Olivia from Yaldhurst Model school
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you added a lot of detail to make it more interesting and to improve you could make it on slides and have some writting on each slide so people would read it
so next time you can go back and make it on a slide so lots more people would read
Why did you do this blog?
🐶
Hi Xalia! I am Ethan from Yaldhurst School.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good blog!
I really like the colour background.
It is ok but next time you could put full stops and put some question marks and exclamation marks. Other wise it is a very good blog.
HI Xalia Its Me Renae from Yaldhurst School.
ReplyDeleteI liked reading your story.
Next time you could tell us more and maybe do a part 2.
Maybe read throw and add capitals.
why this topic.
Bye.
Renae
Hello Xalia I am Delilah from Yaldhurst Model school and I am a year five
ReplyDeleteIn our class we do things like this and the word count for the new people like me are 240 and the rest are is 300. How else did the frozen in time because you did it on docs how much words did you get. Could you do it on a slide or could you just do it on a docs.Maybe you can put the writing at the top not the bottom. you need to put CAPTEL I's I can see none.
kind regards
Delilah